discovering a world beyond comfort

As the world began to recover from the pandemic, I felt an irresistible urge to explore. Until then, my life had revolved around a safe, familiar circle that rarely allowed for spontaneous decisions. I had to loose a loved one because I was 'not man enough' to take spontaneous decisions. I had to depend on my parents for most of mobility needs and I was always required to take a permission before doing anything on my own. This created an imposter syndrome that made me belive that I was far behind everyone else as my age in terms of being reliable and matured.

Everything changed when I boarded that first flight to Thailand for my first ever company trip. Like many traditional households, my parents were concerned about my safety, judgment and the reputation of Bangkok's nightlife. But my newfound financial independence helped convince both them and myself that this was a journey worth taking.

I deliberately chose to spend one night alone in Bangkok before joining my colleagues. While they stayed in a luxury hotel, I opted for a modest $15-a-night accommodation in a quiet alley. That rainy night remains vivid in my memory – it was the first time I had ever stayed alone in a hotel, marking my first true taste of independence.

the thrill of the unexpected

My journey continued to Koh Samui in Thailand's Surat Thani province. It was here, during the company retreat, that I experienced many firsts, including my first cocktail and the excitement of exploring a new country on my own.

A defining moment came during a five-hour jet ski tour around the island. Overwhelmed midway, I asked to be dropped off on a remote shore with no public transport and limited connectivity. Armed with just 1000 baht and wearing only wet swim shorts, I navigated my way back to the hotel through a mix of resourcefulness and luck. This adventure awakened in me a love for the unpredictable nature of life.

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song. - Maya Angelou

This experience introduced me to the exhilarating world of uncertainty. I began to relish the joy of unplanned adventures, no longer meticulously planning my trips. Over the next few years, I visited 31 countries, each journey strengthening my independence and adaptability. I never had an itinerary for any of my solo trips. I believe that the whole point of traveling alone is keeping options open, gathering new experiences and deciding things on the go.

Travel taught me far more than my university degree ever could.

learning to let go

Travel for me is a mix of emotions: 10% joy, 10% sadness and 80% learning. One of its greatest lessons is learning to let go – of things, situations and even people. I've witnessed breathtaking sights and met extraordinary individuals, creating cherished memories along the way.

While I treasure these memories, I'm still mastering the art of letting go. Perhaps the purpose isn't to make it easier each time, but to feel the full weight of each experience, allowing us to form unique bonds with people, places and moments.

Over time, I've realized that my purpose isn't to be a free bird, but rather a welcoming space – a metaphorical cage – seeking cherishable memories.

I am a cage, in search of a bird. - Franz Kafka

At this stage of my life, I value memories above material possessions. I see myself as a collector of experiences, gathering precious moments wherever I go. Sometimes, I feel guilty about holding onto memories that might be better forgotten – like a fight in Greece or being mugged in Nairobi. But part of me believes that even these challenging experiences are worth remembering, as they've shaped who I am today.

welcoming new chapters

For two years, I reveled in the beauty of an unplanned life and I intend to keep that spirit alive. However, in an unexpected turn of events, I recently moved to London to pursue my master's degree at University College London.

This move has made me realize that my period of instability, while enriching, may have caused me to lose some discipline. The intense focus I had before my travels has been replaced by a mind more easily distracted by new influences. But there's a silver lining – I feel like I'm finally living a complete life on my own terms.

For the first time, I feel like I have bigger responsibilties in building a home, take care of my indoor plants to nurture and I'm building a social circle in a new city. I'm cooking my own meals and taking care of household chores – a significant change from the more sheltered life I led back home. This transition has pushed me to manage my own mental health and daily responsibilities in ways I never had to before.

If I could have written my own story before I was born, I would have definitely included this exciting chapter. The potential for personal growth and new connections fills me with anticipation. As part of this documenting journey, I've launched this personal portfolio to document and reflect on my experiences. I can't wait to see what lies ahead and I hope that you can someday experience the luxury of unstability soon!

what's ahead?

I don't have a clear plan for the upcoming year but the idea is to give space for being unstable without compromising on virtues like confidence. During my previous hustle phase, I made a huge compromise on health by living off a 3 hour/day bedtime (still have the dark circles as a proof of hustle lol). This time, i plan to put things different. I will not let down of my health nor be anti-social for the sake of staying focused. Instead, i will try to strike the right balance by surrounding myself with a vibe that helps me progress me in different branches of life.